Jeremiah Grossman, who not many people know is actually the devil, smoked a bunch of crack and made the mistake of associating himself with me again with this virulently circulating “7 facts”. Before I got a chance to see his post, he sent me an e-mail saying he was sorry about the “7 facts” thing. I got all excited because I thought it had something to do with Miley “fuckmeboots” Cyrus who has a song by the same name. Now I am all pissed off because it has nothing to do with my dream girl (just playing, Anna Faris – what we have is srsly speshl).

The Rules:

  • 1. Link to your original tagger(s) and list these rules in your post.
  • 2. Share seven facts about yourself in the post.
  • 3. Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names and the links to their blogs.
  • 4. Let them know they’ve been tagged.

0. I don’t think anyone cares about these facts, but I enjoyed writing them while stuck in a hotel outside Philly. By the way, I love It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Great show. That technically will make this page contain 8 facts, but I figure I’m also 1/7 more important or better looking than everyone else, so that means I deserve another fact.

1. I grew up on something more than alert(document.cookie). I cut my teeth on auditing and exploiting C. My favorite hacking books are Hacking: The Art of Exploitation by Jon Erickson and The Shellcoder’s Handbook by Aitel, Kozoil, Litchfield, et. al. Despite some lies you might hear from samy, the structs in my DNS spoofers are not misaligned and I can smash some stacks. However, my skills in the world of how-the-hell-can-I-write32 and the like have atrophied during my past 3 years in Funhouse of Mirrors we call the webappsec world.

2.  My favorite hobbies are video games, soccer and table tennis. I’ve even gotten some recognition and money for the first 2! Watch your back, Chris Shiflett.

3. I am a social justice junkie and desperately want everyone to vote 3rd party in the next presidential election. Stay within the realm of sanity with choices like Ralph Nader, Cynthia McKinney and Ron Paul. The media and controlling parties simply aren’t capable or willing to affect change, although we all have high hopes for Obama. If you don’t do something to help change your country, even if it’s just helping spread awareness about how fundamentally broken our system is, you might as well buy a shotgun, hole up in your house, and wait for the zombies to come. And pray that when they do, they’re the slow-moving zombies that can only infect you with a bite. If they’re fast and can infect you with scratches, you my friend, can consider yourself as eaten as a delicious risotto in front of Reuben Studdard.

4. I hang out with mostly non-technical people, which is probably why I haven’t killed myself yet. Computers r dum.

5. I can’t fall asleep without reading. I usually stick with Stephen King (the Dark Tower series should be a legal requirement for young adults), Frank Herbert (Dune, duh), George R.R. Martin, and all kinds of non-fiction including modern science types (On Intelligence, Freakonomics), but mostly historical and political (All the Shah’s Men, The Story of World War II, Franklin and Winston, A People’s History of the United States, The Essential Chomsky).

6. I’m an avid fan of both types of football, and cheer on my hometown Baltimore Ravens and my never-been-there-but-home-away-from-home Liverpool Reds.

7.  I was almost an artificial intelligence academia dork. My master’s thesis got published and I had some cool opportunities, but security was more interesting. We’re a long way from the finish line in the world of AI, and I didn’t want to be a forgotten ant in the pile of failed researchers.

Ok, here are the people I’m picking out.

Ivan Ristic. A good friend; unique, and an expert.

Mario Heiderich. He’s a great mind, passionate, but most importantly because he will HATE me for it.

Billy Hoffman. Because he’s my hero.

Dre/Marcin: Marcin is one of my padawan and Dre is hilariously inflammatory. This counts as 2.

Rafal Los:  I’m calling on a preacher’s kid, I must be running out of people.

Coates: A co-worker who pwns.